Election Season – An Open Letter

An open letter to…well to anyone who reads this — 

Know that I freaking love you, want good for you, have prayed for you, and desire to see us all increase in our capacity to love (and be loved) better and better every day. 

As election season will be smacking us all in our proverbial faces all too soon (have these heart palpitations always been here??) may I just offer these thoughts?

First…

May I suggest that there are not just two sides to any of the most important issues? People are complicated and complex, and so are the issues that matter to us. 

No matter how ‘they’ (whoever they may be at any given time) try to lump everybody into tribes and slap labels on us, there are NOT EVER only two camps. Everyone — and thus every issue — is deeper, wider, and more nuanced than we realize. Let us never forget that.

Next…

It’s usually the people who are in the seven dozen other, more nuanced camps who get hurt by the generalizations, malicious memes and blanket, politically charged cartoons/re-posts/comments. And friends- more often than you’d think, you end up hurting people you love and respect, but didn’t realize held the opinion you’re attacking. 

Anybody else been the attacked? Yeah. Kinda sucks. 

Don’t be the attacker. 

The most common destructive thing I see people do during this season is to respond/react to an entire group of people based on the antagonistic words of one of its most extreme and divisive members. Do not engage.

I repeat (for your mental health): do not engage.

Now…

If you hear nothing else, hear this— it is not only possible but TRUE — Different people can collectively be coming from a place of LOVE and CARE FOR OTHERS, but arrive at radically different opinions on policy (gov’t involvement in a solution). 

One more time:

Different people can collectively be coming from a place of love and care for others, but arrive at radically different opinions on the kind of government involvement, and the amount of involvement the government should have in solving the issues.

Which leads us to…

Having a different opinion than you doesn’t make someone a terrible person. 

Calling them a terrible person, implying it, or otherwise shows your ignorance and makes you seem kind of terrible yourself. 

In the passed couple of years, I’ve reached out privately to friends who have shared posts of the ‘quick and nasty’ variety. Every single one of them was nicer in direct message. And sadly, after talking it out, it became apparent that every single one of them held a milder, more central opinion than what they’d posted. And a hell-of-a lot more compassion than the post communicated.

They didn’t see the incongruence between their post and their actual position, which caused them to be surprised at how it landed. Each conversation ended on loving terms, even though it left me a little bummed.

And now, some Don’ts for your consideration: 

Please don’t attack each other’s intent. PLEASE. We have no idea what has shaped another person’s opinion, and we sure af don’t know what we don’t know. Be humble. Give the benefit of the doubt.

Listen. Love. Please.

 And for the love, don’t freaking make fun of people. Don’t get caught up in it when someone else is doing it. It’s gross. Demeaning another person is wrong and immature. I almost said childish, but my children know better. Grow up. Full stop. 

My final plea…

Let’s make up our minds this election season that we will not engage in the hate that divides. 

It serves no good purpose. It increases the collective blood pressure and cortisol levels of the country.

Say it with me, like Dory: “Just keep scrolling, just keep scrolling…”

If you speak at all, speak to inform, not to ridicule. 

Be informative peacemakers. 

Share in wisdom and love, and be willing to learn. 

Then vote (God help us, our options are ). Let’s do better than the candidates. We don’t need their leadership to love each other well. 

As a country, may we truly rise above and be the change we want to see.